


How To Save a Life

by lelahcapek



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Bromance, Brotherhood, Gen, Greasers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7144715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lelahcapek/pseuds/lelahcapek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dallas Winston (Dally) went into a mental breakdown after one of his best friend died and start to blame himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Save a Life

_Ponyboy_

> _Step one, you say, "We need to talk."_ _. He walks, you say, "Sit down. It's just a talk.". He smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through some sort of window to your right._
> 
>  

“Hey Dally, you okay?”, I come to Dally’s room. He’s just silently smoking and staring through the window pane.

“Do you know that this things wouldn’t happen if you and Johnny didn’t save those kids? Why bother helping people? People never helps us. People hate us, say badthings about us. So why bother? I’m okay. Poor Johnny, I guess.”

“I didn’t meant it, Sorry, Dally.”

“That’s okay, it’ll just happen eventually. Just forget about it. I hope Johnny doing okay, man. He’s just a kid. So, tonight’s rumble huh?”

“Yeah, man.”

“Damn, still locked up in this sick house. Rumble is not a rumble without me. But do it, Pony, do it for Johhny!”, he looks at me.

“Yeah, I know. Gotta go first Dally. See ya”, I pat his back.

He nodded and look back to the window. In the horizon, there’s a bright gold sunset.

 

* * *

 

Dally

> _As he goes left and you stay right_ _, between the lines of fear and blame. You begin to wonder why you came._
> 
>  

If only I didn’t get too selfish. If only I helped those kids too in the first place. It wouldn’t get messy right now. It will be faster, and the ceiling won’t fell and hit Johnny. What if he died? But what’s more sad is, what if he can stay alive but crippled and can’t do nothing. I’ll blame myself if he died. I can’t forgive myself if he died. He’s the most nice kid I ever met. He won’t hurt any living things except for self defense.

Fuck this. I must go to rumble. It’s for Johnny.

 

* * *

 

Ponyboy

> _Let him know that you know best_ _, 'cause after all you do know best. Try to slip past his defense without granting innocence_
> 
>  

“Ready kid?”, Two Bit punch my bare arms. “Hey, you’re hot. I mean hot, fever-ish. Are you okay for the rumble?”. Oh man, he still have a time for goofing around this time.

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Don’t tell Darry or he won’t let me go to rumble, please?”, I try to make sure Two Bit doesn’t tell anyone. Because I want to go to rumble, get revenge for Johnny. Everyone, especially Darry is worried about me all the time. And if anyone know, and Darry know, I’m one hundred percent sure he will make me stay at home.

“Are you sure?”, Two Bit start to look worry.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I just have took aspirins. Maybe it needs time to work.” I try my best to make him sure.

“Okay, be okay, kid. Cause Darry will kill me if his little brother sick”, he wink his eyes.

“Oh God, cut it out Two Bit”, I moaned. He’s a nice guy but I think he need some seriousness. We will go to rumble, for God’s sake. Everyone is tense and nervous, which is normal. It’s not a right time to goofing around I think.

“Hey, hey you two can you just shut up? Pony, are you sure you okay?”, Darry start to questioning me. Great, Two Bit.

“It’s okay Darry. I always go to rumble before, and it’s okay. It’s skin to skin, nothing’s hurt if it’s skin to skin rumble. Beside, it’s for Johhny.”

“I know but before this, you’re in a good condition. And look at you now, you’re not at your best condition. But I know your feeling, it’s for Johhny.”, Darry pats may shoulder softly.

“Quit talking, man. Let’s just go!”, Steve come up.

It’s not a bright night but the stars are all shining. Everyone in there, our gang, Tim Shephard’s gang, and every ally that we have. And the Socs in there too. I think we’re even. Everyone feels so tense, even Darry. I just want to beat those Socs who always jumped on us. We don’t do anything bad to them, really. I didn’t understand why they did that to us. Things all rough all over.

“Wait for me, man!!”, I can hear the familiar voice. Goddamn, Dally actually made it. I wonder what he did so he could sneak out from sick house. He’s tough after all. Nothing can stop him, escpesially from this rumble. He loves rumble so much it became some sort of his lifestyle. I don’t really like it, but tonight, even though I feel so dizzy, it’s for Johnny.

Darry do it first. Then it begins. I’m pretty small and usually paired up with Johnny in rumble. But I thought that there’s no small kid like I’m now, I can help Dally, since he only got one hand.

And so it is, Greasers win! Socs all scattered and run to their expensive tough cars. But I feel so dizzy. I feel like I can fall down in any time. Then someone shake my body.

“Pony, we have to go to hospital. Johnny is dying and he wants to meet you. Come, now!”. He grab my arm and start to run. How in the hell he can still run and grab me after a rumble.

* * *

 

Dally

> _Lay down a list of what is wrong_ _. The things you've told him all along. Pray to God, he hears you, and I pray to God, he hears you_
> 
> _  
> _

“I can’t forgive myself if he died, Pony. You know that. I could help you, man at that time. But I’m too selfish. Oh God, there’s a police”.

“Pony, are you okay? Pretend to be sick, alright?”, he just nod and lay still. After all his beaten up face can help me from this police.

“Whoa what happened kid?”

“My friend fell from motorcycle. I must go to the hospital, Sir.”

“Can I escort you?”

“Yes, Sir. Thank you.”

“Hey, Ponyboy, wake up! Are you asleep? Fuck this. I know that something bad will happen. You don’t have to play a hero, you know? We don’t even know them, so why bother? I don’t know, I don’t know.” I shake Ponyboy’s body. “Wake up! We’re in sick house.”. He wake up and look so pale. I think he is sick too. But we don’t have any time because Johnny can go at any time.

This is the room.

“Hey Johnny”, I say hello to him.

“Hey, Dally. I think I’m gonna going, man. It’s so hurt, it’s hurt all over, but I can’t feel anything too.”, he begin to sobs.

“Hey, hey, that’s ok. Johnny, we won the rumble! Socs won’t bother us anymore!”.

“That’s no point in it. Socs will always be Soc. And Greasers will always be Greasers. No matter who win, we will always lose to them. Ponyboy?”.

“Yeah, what, buddy?”.

“Stay gold, Johnny…”. And then he sink into his pillow. His face is pale. I don’t believe it!

“We have won from Socs Johnny!!! Why would you do this to us?! We can’t be together without you Johnny! Please Johnny don’t die, please!”, I feel shattered. It’s so hurt. I love this kid. Why? He’s the nicest kid ever. Why not me? I’m just a tough guy with no future. I don’t believe it.

 

* * *

 

Ponyboy

> _And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness_ _. And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life_
> 
>  

I’m shattered into pieces. I know that it will happen eventually. And nothing’s good come from it. It’s between dead, or crippled for your whole life. Life is never nice to us, and to Johnny. But I never see Dally like this before. He’s a tough guy. He brag about his criminal and prison life. He’s a thug. I don’t really like him before, but seeing him like this, he’s just a human, a kid. He have a hard life. Harder than me. At least I still have Darry and Sodapop. I have home. But Dally? I don’t know that he can have this mental breakdown. I thought he’s tough, cold, and don’t have any feeling. But now, I feel him, I know his feeling. I can see his fragile side.

I’m sad that Johnny’s died. He’s my best friend, after all. He’s the one who will listen to you, even though he maybe didn’t understand a thing. He’s like a family. And I hope he go to a better place, where’s there’s no Greasers, or Socs, just average and same creatures. Just like what he always wanted.

“Dally, you okay?”, I asked Dally. I can clearly see he shed a tears.

“Do I look like okay to you? Did I”, he yell at me.

“No…”.

Silence. I know he can’t take it. I know that it’s even harder than to go to jail. Poor, Johnny, poor Dally.

“I can’t believe it, man?! Just be tough and don’t do any stupid things again, Ponyboy. I know you’re smart and stuff. Don’t be a hero anymore or maybe you’ll end up like Johnny. And I don’t want anyone die again after play being a hero. You understand? I’m out

He’s out from the room and I don’t know where he will go. I just stand in there. I don’t know what to do. Go home, maybe. Then sleep it off. I feel so dizzy, I hope I’m not falling when walk in the street.

 

* * *

 

Dally

> _As he begins to raise his voice_ _, you lower yours and grant him one last choice. Drive until you lose the road or break with the ones you've followed._
> 
>  

I don’t know what to do anymore. What should I do after all this. It should have been me who die, not Johnny. I hope he rest well, he don’t deserve to live in this cruel world anyway.

I go to nearby store. I don’t know what to do, really. Should I go back to Buck’s? Or maybe go to Ponyboy’s house? Fuck this, I forget that I leave Ponyboy at sick house. He’s look sick, hope he can go home well.

“Hey kid, do you want to buy that or not?”

“Nope.”, I rip off this magazine. Oh God this shopkeeper is so horrible fuck. Do you know that I’m confused and mourning over my dead best friend?!

“You have to pay for it.”.

“What if I said no. And give me your money.”, I pull my heather out to threathen this annoying shopkeeper. I need to boozing it out maybe. Need some money to wear off the sadness. He give me the money and I run.

I run, I run, I run. And I can hear a faint sound of police siren. Fuck this. I need help. I go to nearby phone booth.

“Hello?”, good, Darry’s voice.

“I need your help, polices are after me. I just stole a store. Meet me at the park.”.

“Okay, I’ll go to the park.”

I don’t want to go jail no more. I better living in the street like this. Jail life is a shit. You can get beaten up by other inmates, and the warden didn’t gave a flying fuck. They’re all just shit. I don’t want to go to jail again, ever.

This is the park. I can see the guys running to save me. I always love those guys. They never thought me as a shit thug and always keep me as a family. But shit, the police car already all over me. What should I do? What should I do? I don’t want to go to jail, no more. Shit. I will use the heather. Maybe it will scare them shit, right? Right, I’m so smart. Being smart and tough like me, and you won’t get killed or hurt, right?

But I know I’m wrong. I’m stupid this time. They thought I’m dangerous. They shot me. Bang! Bang! Bang! It’s all over my ears. One shot, two shot, three shot, I can counting to it. It’s hurt, but it feels like time is all slow down. I can see the guys all screaming over me. I know that I will be okay. It’s just like ol’ New York days. A bullet, two bullet, or three bullet can’t kill you, right? But why they don’t stop? Why? I don’t know. Maybe I’m not so tough or smart like what I thought in my whole life. I’m a weak and stupid kid. I go to jail at 10?! What do you expect? A criminal! I deserve all this. Yes, I deserve all this, not Johnny. Maybe I’ll meet Johnny in heaven. Maybe not, clearly he’s a nice guy so he will go to heaven. Me? Welcome to hell. I don’t know. Time’s so slow. Probably I already dead now. Goodbye world, goodbye greasers, goodbye, Ponyboy…. 

* * *

  
Ponyboy

> _He will do one of two things_ _. He will admit to everything, or he'll say he's just not the same. And you'll begin to wonder why you came._
> 
>  

Why… we just won over Socs. But why did two of my kin dead this night? It’s not fair, isn’t it? They’re all just a kid! We’re all just a kid! It’s just society who never kind to us! Dally, you said you were smart and tough, why did you do this? It’s a suicide, you dim-wit! I don’t know that you’re so shattered because of Johnny. I don’t know that you have the sweet side of you. I never know that, never. I know that you must act _tuff_ all the time because if you’re not _tuff_ in this society you’ll be kicked. But not Dally, never.

I cry so hard, everyone cry so hard. Even Darry who rarely for other people. It’s a bad night. Johnny is right. Won over Socs is pointless. We’re the one who always lose. No matter how hard we try. Society always try to exterminate us. They tought that we’re all a dirty thug all the time. But never Socs. They have all the things they want. But maybe not this, not this kind of brotherhood. A family not by blood. You know?

 

> _Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness_ _. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life._

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration come from How To Save a Life song from The Fray. I'm sorry for cringe-ish grammar. It's pretty long time since I wrote a thing and with English. Hope you enjoy this!


End file.
